Category Archives: Dad

Creep show

At the dinner table.  A mosquito has landed in Dad’s water.

B — Eew!  A bug in your drink!

Dad — No big deal.

B — You’re gonna drink it anyway?!

R — It’s a horror show!  A nightmare!


The end is near

B — Dad, why do you have wrinkles on your face?

Dad — Because as my body gets older, my face becomes less smooth and shows lines.

B — Oh…  you mean because you’re decaying?

 


Groooovy, baby!

B brought this one home from school.


Getting to know you

R’s tribute to Dad (a fill-in-the-blank sheet he was given at church):


Weight control

B — Dad, how much do you weigh?

Dad — About 170 lbs.

B — Is that about the same as what a car weighs?


Look before you leap

R, talking to B at the table — …first you date them to find out if you like them, and then you get married.  That’s why Dad and Mom were dating before they got married.

B –Yeah.  They dated when they met.

R — Dad, why did you date Mom?  Did you think she was pretty?

Dad — I liked her.

R — So you wanted to date her for a few weeks before you got married?

Mom — We dated for five years.

R — Five years?!  You wanted to be sure?


Spice up your conversation

At the table.

Dad — B, you’re eating like a chicken.  Stop.

R — Yeah!  You always eat like a chicken.

Dad — R, quiet.

B — Yeah, R.  I don’t want to hear your comments.

R — I wasn’t giving you condiments!