Monthly Archives: September 2011

A certain “je ne sais quoi”

I am cleaning the toilet in the boys’ bathroom.  They have just finished taking a bath and are standing next to me, observing the proceedings.

B, nose wrinkled  — That smells awfully interesting.

R — No, it smells gross.

B — Well, interesting and gross.

R — That’s what I was thinking.

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In chronological order

R has fallen and scraped his knee at the play-scape at McDonald’s and is in need of comforting.

R — Can I sit in your lap?

Mom — What am I going to do when you are too tall and too heavy for me to hold in my lap?

R — I’ll never be too tall.

Mom — One day you’ll be taller than me.

R — I’ll never be taller than you, because I started my life after you.


Hide and seek

In the car, we are having a conversation about washing cars.

R — Mom never washes the cars.

Dad — Mom used to wash her car.

R — How come you don’t wash your car anymore, Mom?

Mom — Because I married your dad, and then I didn’t need to.

R — Where did you live when you washed your car?

Mom — In Florida.

R — Where did you live, Dad?

Dad — In Florida.

B — Of course he lived in Florida!  If they found each other, they had to be in the same place!


I’m a star!

R is in the office, where the dogs are conducting their morning play date.  R is standing in front of the desk, while the dogs move in front of him, behind him, tails wagging, tongues out.

R — These dogs!  What are they so interested in?  (Pause)  It’s me, I believe.


Dog-speak

Dad is commanding the dog to sit.  The dog does so, then barks, expecting a reward.

B — He wants a treat!

Dad– He spoke when he wasn’t spoken to.

B — What did he say?


Make Billy Mays proud

I’ve asked R to get me a bottle of dish-washing soap from the closet downstairs.  He clomps upstairs, soap in hand.

R — Have you noticed how dirty our dishes are?  You should use this stuff.  See?  (reading from the label on the bottle) “OXY Power degreaser” will get them clean!


Remember when

Out running errands, so no time for homemade dinner.

Mom — Boys, do you want to get something at McDonald’s?

R — Okay.

Mom — What do you want?

R — Nuggets.

Mom — Okay.  How about you, B?

B — Nothing.

Mom — This is dinner, B.  If you don’t eat something now, you’ll be hungry later.

B — It’s okay.  I remember what it’s like to be hungry.