Monthly Archives: April 2012

Double, double, toil and trouble

Dad is playing Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” in the car.

R — This song is about how she lost her phone and her keys.

Mom — The whole song?

R — Well, she’s talking about how she lost those things.  If you lose your phone, you lose everything!

Mom — I would be in trouble if I lost my purse.

R — Why?

Mom — Because it’s where I keep all of my things.  My money, my phone, and my keys.  I’d be in trouble if I lost it!

R — You mean it’s the law?

Mom — What?  No.  I mean I would have a hard time without it and all my stuff in it.

R — Oh.  You mean another kind of trouble, not the kind you get punished for.

 


Non sequitur

In the car.  The boys are eating ice cream cones from McDonald’s.

B — I almost ate the paper on the bottom of the cone!

R — Me, too!

B — I ate it one time, remember?

R — You did?

B — Yes.  But I spit most of it out.  I swallowed some of it, though.

Mom — Gross.  Like a goat!  Goats eat all kinds of garbage.

B — I know.

R — A goat would probably eat all the paper on the cone.

B — Yeah.  Mom, if I were a goat, I would eat Santa for dinner.


God bless America

Mom — What do you want to be when you grow up, R?

R — I’m not sure yet.

Mom — Well, what kinds of jobs do you like?

R — I don’t really know yet.  Maybe a P.E. teacher.

Mom — Really?  Why?

R — Because I have lots of skills.

Mom — Wow.  Is there something you know for sure you don’t want to be?

R — I definitely know I don’t want to be next year’s president!


Spice up your conversation

At the table.

Dad — B, you’re eating like a chicken.  Stop.

R — Yeah!  You always eat like a chicken.

Dad — R, quiet.

B — Yeah, R.  I don’t want to hear your comments.

R — I wasn’t giving you condiments!


Real estate hors d’oeuvre

We are visiting real estate open houses, just because.  At one house, I get out of the car for a flyer.

R — What’s that?

Mom — It’s a paper that tells you all about the house.

Dad — It’s like an ad.

R — What?

Dad — An advertisement.

 

Then, at another house.

R — How come we’re not going inside?  You just wanted to look at the appetizer?


Submarine fun

The boys are taking a bath.

R — B, wait, I’m going to fart.  Here come the bubbles!  Ready?


Virtual reality

The boys are a playing video game.  They are racing against each other and  several computer-generated racers.

R — What?!  We’ll never beat this guy!

B — He’s too good.

Then, after a few minutes of racing…

B — Wow… he’s really good.

R — Or maybe he’s computerized?