Dad is playing Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” in the car.
R — This song is about how she lost her phone and her keys.
Mom — The whole song?
R — Well, she’s talking about how she lost those things. If you lose your phone, you lose everything!
Mom — I would be in trouble if I lost my purse.
R — Why?
Mom — Because it’s where I keep all of my things. My money, my phone, and my keys. I’d be in trouble if I lost it!
R — You mean it’s the law?
Mom — What? No. I mean I would have a hard time without it and all my stuff in it.
R — Oh. You mean another kind of trouble, not the kind you get punished for.
In the car. The boys are eating ice cream cones from McDonald’s.
B — I almost ate the paper on the bottom of the cone!
R — Me, too!
B — I ate it one time, remember?
R — You did?
B — Yes. But I spit most of it out. I swallowed some of it, though.
Mom — Gross. Like a goat! Goats eat all kinds of garbage.
B — I know.
R — A goat would probably eat all the paper on the cone.
B — Yeah. Mom, if I were a goat, I would eat Santa for dinner.
Mom — What do you want to be when you grow up, R?
R — I’m not sure yet.
Mom — Well, what kinds of jobs do you like?
R — I don’t really know yet. Maybe a P.E. teacher.
Mom — Really? Why?
R — Because I have lots of skills.
Mom — Wow. Is there something you know for sure you don’t want to be?
R — I definitely know I don’t want to be next year’s president!
At the table.
Dad — B, you’re eating like a chicken. Stop.
R — Yeah! You always eat like a chicken.
Dad — R, quiet.
B — Yeah, R. I don’t want to hear your comments.
R — I wasn’t giving you condiments!
We are visiting real estate open houses, just because. At one house, I get out of the car for a flyer.
R — What’s that?
Mom — It’s a paper that tells you all about the house.
Dad — It’s like an ad.
R — What?
Dad — An advertisement.
Then, at another house.
R — How come we’re not going inside? You just wanted to look at the appetizer?
The boys are taking a bath.
R — B, wait, I’m going to fart. Here come the bubbles! Ready?
The boys are a playing video game. They are racing against each other and several computer-generated racers.
R — What?! We’ll never beat this guy!
B — He’s too good.
Then, after a few minutes of racing…
B — Wow… he’s really good.
R — Or maybe he’s computerized?