Monthly Archives: October 2011

Cross-eyed cranium

R is wearing a new tee with a picture of a skull and crossbones.

Mom — Now that I look at it, that skull looks kinda creepy.

R — Yeah… I think it’s because his mouth is open and his eyes are diagonal.

 


Junk in the trunk

I am petting the dog, a black Lab, smacking her “hind quarter” and scratching her belly.

R — Does she like it when you smack her bottom?

Mom — I think so.  I don’t think she feels much of it.

R — Why not?

Mom — Because she has such a thick coat of fur.  Dogs have thicker skin.

R — Why?  They need extra padding?  Is it because they’re so clumsy?


An empty feeling inside

We have been invited to a farewell party, so the boys haven’t had lunch yet.  We are at Toys R Us, shopping for a gift for the host family’s children.  B is noticeably quiet and morose.

Dad — Are you alright, B?

B — Yeah.

Dad — What’s wrong?

B — My tummy hurts.

Mom — What does it feel like?

B — It feels like it doesn’t have any food.   And my body feels like it doesn’t have any moisture.

 


Waste management

B is brushing his teeth in the boys’ bathroom when Mom walks in.

Mom — It’s stinky in here!  Did you go poop?

B — No.  I went poop yesterday.  It was a big one!  It means I got rid of a lot of my waste.


Aftercare afterglow

It’s Thursday, and it’s Dad’s turn to pick up the boys at school.  I am leaving campus at 5:15 PM when I see the boys running out of the aftercare room to meet me.

Mom, horrified that the boys are still at school — What are you doing here?!

B — We were playing in aftercare.

Mom — Dad was supposed to pick you up!  Did he forget you?!  I am so sorry, boys!  I thought Dad had picked you up!

R — Don’t worry about it.  We had a great time!


The kids are alright

At a petting zoo, the boys have been looking at the ducks and geese for a long while.  At one point, several of the geese congregate in a corner of the pen and start honking.

R — Look!  They’re all together!

B — And they’re honking!  They’re talking!

R — Are they having a meeting?

Mom — Why would they be having a meeting?

R — They’re talking about the kids, I believe.

 


Happy Birthday, Daddy!

R likes to wink.  Notice the smiley face in the bottom corner…

“What?!  Why wasn’t I informed about this?”

B has become very aware of his hair, and routinely checks that his “Elvis curl” is in place.  Notice the curl on his forehead in the picture.

A pregnant woman’s craving: pickles and Angry Birds.


Waxing poetic

I am cleaning R’s ears.

R – Eew!  Look at the wax!  It’s so dirty!

Mom– Yeah, your ears were pretty grimy.

R — The wax protects my ears, right?

Mom — Right.  It traps dirt so it won’t go deep in your ear.

R — That’s why it looks so dirty and yellow.

Mom — I guess.

R — What color is wax when it’s clean?


The evening forecast

On our way home from school, I make dinner arrangements with a friend from work over the phone, then call Dad to finalize the details.

B — What?!  Is someone coming over for dinner?

Mom — Yes.  Pastor L is coming over.

R and B — Yay!!!

R — It’s gonna be a lovely day!


The golden state

In the car, on the way home from school.

B — … it was Connecticut skin color.

R — Right.  But we have California skin color.

B — Right!  ‘Cause we were born in California!

Mom– B, what is Connecticut skin color?

B — It’s sort of like peachy.

R — It’s pale.

B — Yeah, sort of like whitish pinkish.

Mom — What’s California skin color?

R — You know… brown!

B — Like us!