At the dinner table. A mosquito has landed in Dad’s water.
B — Eew! A bug in your drink!
Dad — No big deal.
B — You’re gonna drink it anyway?!
R — It’s a horror show! A nightmare!
Category Archives: overheard
The end is near
B — Dad, why do you have wrinkles on your face?
Dad — Because as my body gets older, my face becomes less smooth and shows lines.
B — Oh… you mean because you’re decaying?
Sensory language
The boys are going out to run errands with Dad. When they get in the car, they both turn around and get out.
B — Eeew! it stinks in there!
R — It smells putrid!
Look before you leap
R, talking to B at the table — …first you date them to find out if you like them, and then you get married. That’s why Dad and Mom were dating before they got married.
B –Yeah. They dated when they met.
R — Dad, why did you date Mom? Did you think she was pretty?
Dad — I liked her.
R — So you wanted to date her for a few weeks before you got married?
Mom — We dated for five years.
R — Five years?! You wanted to be sure?
Submarine fun
The boys are taking a bath.
R — B, wait, I’m going to fart. Here come the bubbles! Ready?
Virtual reality
The boys are a playing video game. They are racing against each other and several computer-generated racers.
R — What?! We’ll never beat this guy!
B — He’s too good.
Then, after a few minutes of racing…
B — Wow… he’s really good.
R — Or maybe he’s computerized?
Land of the giants
The boys are putting away clean underwear in their dresser. B spots one of Dad’s underwear in the basket.
B — What?! This underwear is huge! Whose giant bottom fits in these??!!
Easter sleuth
The boys wake up to find Easter baskets next to their beds.
R, whispering — {Gasp} B! Wake up! Look! The Easter Bunny came!
B — Are you sure?
R — Look! It’s candy!
B — Well, I still don’t trust that it was the Easter Bunny.
R — It was the Easter Bunny! I’ll tell you why. Our Dad is way too heavy to climb up to our loft and sneak around our beds quietly. And Mom doesn’t like to climb up here. It had to be the Easter Bunny!
Good enough to eat
The boys are taking a bath while the cookies they have helped me make are baking.
R, getting out of the tub — Mmmm! It smells like pancakes out here!
B — Ooh, you’re right! It must be us, ’cause we’re so clean! Yummy!
I once was blind
We have arrived in California and we have met Dad at the airport. We have walked out to the parking lot and the boys are seeing the new minivan for the first time. Dad has opened the back to put the suitcases inside.
R — Wow! Look at the inside! Why didn’t you send us pictures of the inside of the car? [Pause] Never mind.
Then, in stereo, R and B — Now we see.
the kitchen notebook 