Monthly Archives: August 2011

Fashion designer

At a department store, shopping for a top for Mom.  The boys are “helping” by choosing pieces and holding them up for me to look at.

R — What about this one?

Mom — It’s too long.

R — Hmm…  Maybe you could cut off the excess?

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And don’t you deny it!

The boys have been instructed by Dad to go upstairs and put on their swimming trunks.  After 6 minutes or so, neither one of them has come back downstairs.

Mom, marching upstairs — What is going on up here?  Why is it taking so long for you to get ready?

B — I have been trying to get R to come!

R, stalking out of the room, hands up in the air — No, you haven’t!  You’ve been fooling around and having a great time with me!


Thrifty

R is watching me put on my makeup.  I am using a double-ended makeup stick, like a big ChapStick®.  One end is a cheek stain; the other I use as a lip balm.

R — Oh, it’s that new makeup you got!  (Watching as I apply the cheek stain) It makes your cheeks look rosy!  (Continues observing)  Oh, and the other side is for your lips…  I get it!  It is cheaper to buy one makeup for two things than if you bought them separated, right?


Survival abroad

At the lunch table.

R — B, if you ever have to go the bathroom in another country where they speak a different language, and they don’t have pictures on the doors, just words, remember that the boys’ bathroom is always on the right.


Buyers’ market

On our way to the YMCA, we see a toilet that someone has put on the side of the road.

Mom — Look, boys!  A toilet on the sidewalk!

R — Maybe they’re selling it.  (Pause)  They should clean it first, though.  Then people would be more interesting in it.


Tick tock

The boys are going to their first swimming lesson.  In the kitchen, I give them directions about what to do when they are finished with breakfast.  I am emphasizing the fact that we need to leave the house no later than 9:15 AM, and that they need to move quickly and not waste time.

Mom — While you guys are finishing up here, I’ll go to the bathroom.

R — Are you going pee or poop?

Mom — Why does it matter?

R — I’m afraid if you go poop we won’t make it.


Topsy turvy

In the bathtub.

R — B, turn all those bottles upside right!