Category Archives: B

Creep show

At the dinner table.  A mosquito has landed in Dad’s water.

B — Eew!  A bug in your drink!

Dad — No big deal.

B — You’re gonna drink it anyway?!

R — It’s a horror show!  A nightmare!

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Sweet talker

The boys are coming home from school with a neighbor who graciously picks them up on Mondays, when it’s all I can do to leave work just in time to get home to meet them.

B — Look at my mom’s clothes!  Do you like them?  She has to look beautiful because she is a teacher.

R — You do look beautiful, Mom.

B — You look really beautiful!  You look like a dream girl!


The end is near

B — Dad, why do you have wrinkles on your face?

Dad — Because as my body gets older, my face becomes less smooth and shows lines.

B — Oh…  you mean because you’re decaying?

 


Groooovy, baby!

B brought this one home from school.


Weight control

B — Dad, how much do you weigh?

Dad — About 170 lbs.

B — Is that about the same as what a car weighs?


You are all the present I need

B’s inventive spelling doesn’t take away from his sweet message.


Everyone’s a critic

I am listening to music while ironing when one of the dogs growls, out of nowhere.

Mom — Oh, relax, dog!

B — Why did you tell him to relax?

Mom — Because he growled.  Didn’t you hear him?

B — Yes.  Why did he growl?

Mom — I don’t know.

B — Maybe he doesn’t like the music.