Category Archives: out n about

Sensory language

The boys are going out to run errands with Dad.  When they get in the car, they both turn around and get out.

B — Eeew!  it stinks in there!

R — It smells putrid!

Double, double, toil and trouble

Dad is playing Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance” in the car.

R — This song is about how she lost her phone and her keys.

Mom — The whole song?

R — Well, she’s talking about how she lost those things.  If you lose your phone, you lose everything!

Mom — I would be in trouble if I lost my purse.

R — Why?

Mom — Because it’s where I keep all of my things.  My money, my phone, and my keys.  I’d be in trouble if I lost it!

R — You mean it’s the law?

Mom — What?  No.  I mean I would have a hard time without it and all my stuff in it.

R — Oh.  You mean another kind of trouble, not the kind you get punished for.


Non sequitur

In the car.  The boys are eating ice cream cones from McDonald’s.

B — I almost ate the paper on the bottom of the cone!

R — Me, too!

B — I ate it one time, remember?

R — You did?

B — Yes.  But I spit most of it out.  I swallowed some of it, though.

Mom — Gross.  Like a goat!  Goats eat all kinds of garbage.

B — I know.

R — A goat would probably eat all the paper on the cone.

B — Yeah.  Mom, if I were a goat, I would eat Santa for dinner.

Real estate hors d’oeuvre

We are visiting real estate open houses, just because.  At one house, I get out of the car for a flyer.

R — What’s that?

Mom — It’s a paper that tells you all about the house.

Dad — It’s like an ad.

R — What?

Dad — An advertisement.


Then, at another house.

R — How come we’re not going inside?  You just wanted to look at the appetizer?

Stereo twins

We have arrived at LAX and have met Dad after our long separation.  We have walked to the parking lot, where the boys and I see the minivan that Dad has bought in our absence.

R — What?!  This is our new car?  Why didn’t you show us the inside when you showed it to us on the computer?

B — Yeah.  You didn’t show us the back.

Then, as Dad opens the back of the minivan…

R and B, in stereo — Oh, now we see.

I once was blind

We have arrived in California and we have met Dad at the airport.  We have walked out to the parking lot and the boys are seeing the new minivan for the first time.  Dad has opened the back to put the suitcases inside.

R — Wow!  Look at the inside!  Why didn’t you send us pictures of the inside of the car?  [Pause] Never mind.

Then, in stereo, R and B — Now we see.


We are driving to the mountain house with Opa and Oma.  A car passes us on the left and crosses the double yellow line to pass the car ahead of ours.

R — What is that car doing??  Why is he going on the other side of the road?  That’s not a good idea!  Why would he do that?!  He should not be driving on that side of the road.  [Pause]  I think he’s showing off.  To show off means to try to impress someone with your skills.  He’s not a good driver.  If I were driving, I would stay close to the edge of the road and make a tight turn to go fast.  You can go faster if you don’t swerve.  That’s how I drive when I play Mario Kart!