R has broken his foam water pistol. He is distraught. I have tried unsuccessfully to fix the toy.
Mom — Sorry, R. I can’t fix it. We can take it home to see if Dad can fix it, though, if you want.
R — Okay. I bet Dad can fix it. He’s much better at fixing things than you are.
R calls me from his room.
Mom — Yes?
R — Can I have a drink of water?
Mom — Not now, honey.
R — Anyway, how come your steps are so loud when you’re walking?
B — It’s because she’s so heavy.
I am putting on my makeup when B walks in.
B — Are we leaving?
Mom — When I’m done here.
B — What are you doing?
Mom — I’m getting ready.
B — Why are you putting on makeup? To make yourself look like you’re pretty?
The boys have discovered ants in their room at Oma and Opa’s house.
R — Oma, we found ants in our room! You need to call the verminator!
We’re in the car with Opa and Oma, making the trip to the mountain house.
B — R, don’t frown on this trip. You’ll use up all your energy. I read in that book about the human body that you use 37 muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile.
R — I read that, too! Let me see you frown.
B does as he is asked.
R — Wow! You do use a lot of muscles! Look how your forehead gets all wrinkled.
B– And you can see all my guns when I show my teeth.
R presented me with these pages depicting some important virtues.
R — I forgot obedience and discipline, but you already know about those.
We went to the park down the street from Oma and Opa’s house. When we got there, R and B played on the swings and pulled their dump trucks along. After about 20 minutes, the landscaping guy turned on the sprinklers.
The boys played in the water for almost a full hour, running through the sprinklers and jumping in the puddles, fully clothed.
When we were leaving, I asked the boys if they’d had a good time.
R — Yes!
B — I sure did!
Mom — Maybe we can come back tomorrow.
R — Okay! Let’s tell the gardener when we’ll be here so he can turn on the sprinklers for us again, though.
The boys have gotten haircuts.
Mom — You have hair in your ears, B. Let me clean them.
B — What?! I’ve never had hair in my ears before. That’s weird.
Mom — It’s because you got a haircut today, remember?
B — Ohhh… That’s fascinating!
After a conversation about the birds and the bees.
B — When does your body know if you are going to pee or “make semen”?
Mom — Your brain knows the difference. Just like when you know if you have to pee or poop.
B — Well, that’s very nice of the brain!
the kitchen notebook 